The Voices Behind #WhyIdidntReport (sooner)
On the 21st of September 2018, the president of the USA, Donald Trump, publicly went after Dr. Christine Blasey Ford.
Dr. Ford is an American psychologist and professor, who spoke out about sexual assault regarding Judge Brett Kavanaugh, who was reported to be on the shortlist to become an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States.
In the tweet, president Donald Trump states:
““I have no doubt that, if the attack on Dr. Ford was as bad as she says, charges would have been immediately filed with local Law Enforcement Authorities by either her or her loving parents. I ask that she bring those filings forward so that we can learn date, time, and place!“ ”
I have no doubt that, if the attack on Dr. Ford was as bad as she says, charges would have been immediately filed with local Law Enforcement Authorities by either her or her loving parents. I ask that she bring those filings forward so that we can learn date, time, and place!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 21, 2018
President Trump himself has been accused of sexual misconduct, sexual assault, rape and infidelity himself, and decided to publicly support Brett Kavanaugh. The result?
#WhyIdidntReport
Hey, @realDonaldTrump, Listen the fuck up.
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) September 21, 2018
I was sexually assaulted twice. Once when I was a teenager. I never filed a police report and it took me 30 years to tell me parents.
If any survivor of sexual assault would like to add to this please do so in the replies. #MeToo https://t.co/n0Aymv3vCi
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) September 21, 2018
Actress Alyssa Milano tweeted at Trump sharing her own experience with sexual violence and not reporting it to anyone, and added the hashtag #WhyIDidntReport.
Thousands of people worldwide started using the hashtag #WhyIdidntReport and #MeToo as a result, to share their stories of rape and sexual assault, and why they didn’t report (sooner). I decided to interview a few of them, to amplify their voice.
The Result Of Speaking Out
Actress Sand Van Roy on the red carpet.
One of those victims I spoke with is Sand Van Roy, a Belgian-Dutch actress known for her roles in Taxi, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets and the yet to be released film Anna.
Sand Van Roy came forward in 2018 about her gruesome experience with writer and film director Luc Besson, who is known for movies such as The Fifth Element and The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc.
After Van Roy bravely came forward publicly, other victims of director Luc Besson also spoke out to French magazine Mediapart, anonymously.
“In an extensive report by French investigative magazine Mediapart, Besson is accused of assaulting a casting director and sexually harassing an employee of his film company, EuropaCorp, as well as another actress he first met in Los Angeles and later allegedly assaulted during a meeting in his Paris office. The women making the allegations spoke to Mediapart on condition of anonymity.”
Sand faced media backlash for speaking out. She shared her experience with reporting sexual violence:
“My entire life I’ve been conditioned to shut up and when I eventually did report, I lost everything. yet I still get called an attention seeking, golddigging, lying whore. #WhyIDidntReport sooner. ”
Sand Van Roy. Image: Perla Maarek (cover build-upon work from original author)
What went through you when you saw the hashtag #WhyIDidntReport?
Sand: “It’s incredibly disappointing how victims still have to justify themselves as to why they haven’t reported. Reasons are obvious to victims. But thanks to #WhyIDidntReport they can and should become obvious to everybody. There’s a million reasons not to go through with it. Yet only two logic reasons why one would report. 1: To heal and 2: To protect other victims. Yet people rarely think this is the survivor’s motivation. No (they think), he/she’s after money, fame, revenge. Rape is the only crime that allows the public to turn the victim in to the monster.”
What advice would you give to victims of sexual assault?
Sand: “It can take years before you realise or dare to admit to yourself you have been or still are a victim. If you ever find yourself in this situation call a helpline. The people you’ll talk to are trained to answer your questions and you can stay anonymous.”
Do you hope that the #MeToo movement will become as active and embraced in Europe as it is currently in America? Why do you think #MeToo here has received with more backlash and negativity?
Sand: “I think people who criticise #MeToo are the ones with a hidden agenda. A lot of powerful men are afraid to lose their jobs, status and credibility. If you’re clean you shouldn’t be scared of #MeToo, you should embrace it. Europe has a lot of catching up to do.”
What (or who) helps you to stay positive and keep fighting?
Sand: “Support from family, friends and faith in the legal system is what keeps me positive. What keeps me going is the conviction that no one should have to endure sexual violence. All women and men coming forward today will hopefully create a brighter future for the next generation. There’s still a long road ahead.”
Has #MeToo changed you in any way?
Sand: “#MeToo hasn’t changed me. #MeToo has made me realise I shouldn’t have to live with abuse.”
Verity Nevitt, co-founder of the Gemini Project.
Does Justice exist?
Verity Nevitt is a female activist for victims of sexual assault. She started The Gemini Project with her sister, which aims to end sexual assault & harassment and campaigns for mandatory education on consent in all schools in the UK.
Because I wanted to protect them. Because I was scared they’d be punished. Because I thought I could somehow justify it. Because they said sorry. It took me 11 months to come forward & formally report and it’s been hell but I don’t regret it. #WhyIDidntReport
— v e r i t y (@veritynevitt) September 22, 2018
I was in denial for such a long time & I wanted to forget it. Ptsd hasn’t let that happen & eventually I decided that it was unfair for us to suffer whilst you took 0 responsibility & suffered 0 consequences. I will get justice. You will be held accountable for your actions.
— v e r i t y (@veritynevitt) September 22, 2018
You came forward using the hashtag, and also mentioned having PTSD in one of your tweets as a result of sexual violence. Could you share how PTSD has changed your life?
Verity: It’s meant I avoid going to certain places to avoid triggers. My anxiety levels are a lot higher & I have more frequent panic attacks. The worst part is the flashbacks because they’re unpredictable but afterwards I’ll be affected for the rest of the day and be really depressed. I also get a lot of repetitive nightmares so my sleep has been affected. The flashbacks and nightmares made me relapse with self harm. So mental health wise it’s had a huge impact
Between 85-95% of rape victims who file a police report, never see the rapist end up in jail. What do you think needs to happen to make sure more victims get justice? And does justice exist, even if a conviction happens?
Verity: “There’s a lot of cases where people get let off by the judge because of the judges cultural attitude towards sexual assault. So changing how we view it in society would be a big help, with education etc. We have to start taking the allegations more seriously than at present - the justice system needs to be victim centred where victims are supported and protected if they decide to come forward as so many have heard horror stories and it can be very off-putting if they’re thinking about reporting. I think justice can exist, but I don’t believe true justice exists at the moment. Too many sentences do not match the crime and many don’t even include jail time. True justice would be them being held to account & taking responsibility for their actions - I often think that matching the sentence to the severity of the crime but also taking into account the victims suffering and how long it’s impacted their everyday life. Some justice exists with a conviction because it’s having the experience recognised by the court but I guess it depends on the level of sentencing they decide on.
Do you think predators in the public eye who have assaulted victims should lose their stage?
Verity: “100%. They have lost their right to any privilege by violating & damaging another so badly. They are not a role model and should not be celebrated. Their victim has probably lost so much as a result, it would be unjust for them to continue their career as if nothing had happened.”
#MenToo or #MeToo?
‘B’ is a childhood sexual abuse survivor and male activist within the movements addressing sexual assault. B is from America, and has shared his experiences about mental health and sexual violence online.
"Will I be in trouble if I say bad things about Tom?" Barely over ten, I didn't know why my friend was doing what he did to me. I didn't know I could say no. I didn't want the gifts and trips to stop. He was a hero of mine. Everything else was so much fun. #WhyIDidntReport
— Dude (@DrunkSquirrncle) September 21, 2018
It wasn't until I was 25 years old that I unlocked the memories of my past. I had been sexually abused as a child by a friend of the family around the ages of 12-14. Before I unlocked these memories, my feeling of self worth was at an all-time low. I stopped going to class.
— Dude (@DrunkSquirrncle) June 11, 2018
Has #MeToo/#WhyIdidntreport changed your life/perspective in any way?
B: “It’s helped me better accept that what happened to me was undoubtedly abuse. It's helped to minimize my self doubt. It's let me know that survivors won't judge me because the physical nature of my abuse wasn't nearly as bad, that I shouldn't feel ashamed that the psychological affects on me have been so big.
What are the pros and cons of being a man active within these movements? Are there any?
B: “I would say that it goes back to my first answer, it can at times be difficult to know that sex crimes are by and large perpetrated by men, while the victims are by and large women. There's certainly a feeling of guilt that my gender is more sexually violent, and that the patriarchal structure within society is designed to protect those abusive men and to smear/belittle their female victims. But I also know that, by and large, most women appreciate the support and voices of men who treat them as equals. To paraphrase something that @emrazz posted the other day, I wish there were more men standing beside women, not trying to stand in front of, united together against this culture that protects abusers and vilifies victims. I think the con with a being a man is not wanting to co-opt a movement originally conceived to help women of color who are rape victims, to find that platform for your voice that is proper and supportive. Like, I've been reluctant to use the #mentoo hashtag because I'm just not sure if it's better to use differentiating hashtags or if we should all use the same hashtags to amplify just how many different types of abuse there are.
no trust in the legal system
One of the things that struck me most about #WhyIdidntReport, were the voices - just like my own - who communicated not trusting the legal system anymore, after previously reporting sexual assault, and not being taken serious.
#WhyIDidntReport Because the one time I did report, I was told it was my fault, I had invited it with the way I dressed, the way I acted (at 15), or maybe I made it up. I didn’t even bother reporting after that.
— Jennifer Wohlenberg (@jengapuzzle) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport
— 💥🧚🏻♀️Katherine👑🥀 (@akamommyyy) September 21, 2018
I did.
Nothing happened.
Then I never reported anything again.
Because I'm already in 1 rape case concerning a public person which is going to court THIS TUESDAY after TWO YEARS OF HELL and police failure and I DON'T TRUST THE LEGAL SYSTEM ANYMORE.#WHYIDIDNTREPORT
— Pieke (@PhotoandGrime) September 22, 2018
In all seriousness do you know what this tweet of his does? Do you know what it’s saying especially to young girls who have been sexually assaulted and are afraid to come forward? It’s shaming them for their fear while simultaneously proving that they’re RIGHT to be afraid. pic.twitter.com/TlOGeCYf4p
— OhNoSheTemporarilySuspended (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 21, 2018
Victims should be able to trust their own government and society. That’s why we pay taxes: because we trust by doing so, we all will be protected more within our society.
It should never be the conclusion of any victim that the government and society can’t be trusted. Unfortunately, #MeToo and #WhyIDidntReport is a reminder how many victims are left in the cold outside, by society.
#IBelieveYou
— Dude (@DrunkSquirrncle) September 21, 2018
I was over ten and under fourteen when I was molested. He was my hero, I didn't know what was happening, but I allowed it to happen because I didn't want to lose the cool things he did for me. And I just repressed all the feelings.
Re: #WhyIDidntReport
— Nicole Panteleakos 🚀 (@NicWritesBooks) September 21, 2018
-Every time you side with the accused
-Every time you say “but there were no witnesses!” or “she didn’t press charges!”
-Every time you concede he did it but ask why it should ruin his life
You’re telling women+girls in your life that they shouldn’t report.
I was raped between the ages of 18 months to 7 repeatedly, by a family member who threatened to kill my parents if I told. I was sexually assaulted in my 40s by a stranger. I have had PTSD most of my life. This GOP admin & Trump has me triggered constantly. I can't sleep. #MeToo
— L8DYSCRIBE (@l8dyscribe) September 21, 2018
I was molested by a baby sitters husband and locked in a closet after their German Shepard bit me ,I was 4 ..then molested by a close family friend. ..as a teenager ...then Weinstein tried and I got away ..he then tried to ruin my career. #MeToo
— Rosanna Arquette (@RoArquette) September 21, 2018
Words of wisdom from my brave, beautiful and incredible niece Zoe- https://t.co/1yxTuNbbn3
— Patricia Arquette (@PattyArquette) September 22, 2018
Men - try this: Ask a woman in your life if they know a sexual assault victim. Most do. Ask if that woman or girl reported the assault right away or ever. Most don’t. Ask if it has haunted them ever since. It has. Then ask yourself why you never knew this before. #WhyIDidntReport
— Jeff Bleich (@JeffBleichCA) September 21, 2018
If you want to see who the leaders are of #MeToo look no further than the thousands of people sharing their #WhyIDidntReport stories. This movement will not be derailed by anyone. It is decentralized collective power which is why it has limitless strength.
— Patricia Arquette (@PattyArquette) September 21, 2018
The upside of the tweets talking about this however, is that they also show hope. Hope that things can change, and that many victims and their allies, are not ready to give up on our governments and society.
That, is a good thing, and should be seen for what it is: a potential to cause change, if enough people become vocal about these issues. We need change. Especially considering the statistics regarding rape convictions:
1745 investigated rape cases in West Midlands (UK) in 1 year with just 174 people convicted.
(9.97%)7066 investigated rape cases in Australia in 1 year with just 631 people convicted.
(8.9%)2952 investigated rape cases in South Africa in 1 year with just 340 people convicted.
(8.6%)1205 investigated rape cases in Avon and Somerset (UK) in 1 year with just 86 people convicted.
(7.14%)3535 investigated rape cases in Sweden in 1 year with just 216 people convicted.
(6.11%)131 investigated rape cases in Limburg (The Netherlands) in 1 year with just 3 people convicted.
(2.29%)823 investigated rape cases in Northern Ireland (UK) in 1 year with just 15 people convicted.
(1.82%)I was incredibly embarrassed that I had never been kissed, and so I lied to mostly everyone. Earlier that day, during girl talk, to fit in, I had said ‘I hope there’s someone I can hook up with tonight’ not even knowing what I meant. I knew I’d never be believed#WhyIDidntReport
— Katie (@AGirlsNameIsKT) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport Because who the hell would have believed me?
— Jane Fathers Davidson (@fathers_jane) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport. The first time it happened, I was 7. I told the first adults I came upon. They said “Oh, he’s a nice old man, that’s not what he meant.” So when I was raped at 15, I only told my diary. When an adult read it, she accused me of having sex with an adult man.
— ashley judd (@AshleyJudd) September 21, 2018
No one gave a shit #WhyIDidntReport
— ZED 🤐 (@ZedTrafficker) September 21, 2018
As autistics, we are incapable of recognising Psychopathic predators, so easily fall victim to them,. have seen her change from a undiagnosed joyful creative genius, to a strong adcocate for Justice. no attention seeker has ever stuck to a story for this long. none. #IBelieveHer
— Eduard Aerssens (@drkravens) September 21, 2018
I was sexually assaulted 36 years ago as a 17 year old college freshman. I did call the police. They referred me to campus mental health who then told me I needed to work on my self esteem.
— Shirley Ugest (@UgestShirley) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport I DID report immediately. Every time. No consequences for the men. Ever. The last one even got promoted to President of University of Texas San Antonio. I told @UTSA about the kind of person they were hiring & got blocked #AcademiaToo #MeToo #UTSA #SanAntonio pic.twitter.com/K1OgovWl6B
— Stomp Out Stupid 🆘 #NoKavanaugh (@Stop_UTK_Now) September 21, 2018
It seems, thankfully, that the #MeToo wave is not going anywhere. It is here to stay and cleanse the dirt in our society. Right now, the road to justice feels like it’s not a road at all, but a mountain with no path.
Let’s change that and create the path to justice, together.
#WhyIDidntReport because he told me it was the only way to show him I loved him. When I started crying and told him to stop, he held me down and told me it was almost over. I was too ashamed to tell anyone and he convinced me it was my fault for originally saying yes.
— Chelsea Lynn (@cocacoley34) September 21, 2018
I also believe you. https://t.co/w0rBdpOc3C
— Eliza D. Barrie (@ElizaBarrie) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport
— theshadowlooms (@theshadowlooms) September 21, 2018
I was raped by my neighbor when I was 5 or 6. He threatened to kill me if I told anyone.
My other abusers either groomed or psychologically abused me before taking advantage of me sexually. I was 15 when it stopped. #survivorculture #kidstoo #MenToo #metoo
The one time I reported sexual harassment at work I found out it wasn't his first time.
— 🐺RESIST❄️Kelsey Villalobos🐺 (@SFoutersunset) September 21, 2018
I got separated, he kept his job, I quit.#WhyIDidntReport
#WhyIDidntReport Because even though he forcibly kissed me, swept my leg out from under me, throwing me down on a deserted beach at night and held me down, it wasn’t technically rape. I had been drinking and it was Senior Week. All of the excuses to tell myself it didn’t matter.
— Schadenfreude Sally (@ResistMeena) September 21, 2018
Because he was my brother and we were best friends in an already troubled home. It happened at night so I convinced myself it was a dream- for 5 years. I was outcast from the family as soon as I spoke until years later when he admitted it was true. #WhyIDidntReport
— Priscilla (@cicibbyd) September 21, 2018
My grandpa grabbed me anywhere he pleased, and when I complained my grandma said I was dressing too skimpy #WhyIDidntReport
— Ms. Hart (@hartsigns) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport
— Yosra (@AfterHardship) September 21, 2018
As a little girl, I did report to the adult who could stop the inappropriateness of her son, but she deflected and I stopped telling
...until I was married and pregnant at 26.
When I told, I lost my dad and grandma for yrs because I got blamed for the WAY I told.
I was taught children are to be seen and not heard, that I should speak only when spoken to. I understood that adults wield all the power and above all things I was expected to be obedient. #WhyIDidntReport
— Jadzia_Dax_Persists #8645! (@Qaycerax2) September 21, 2018
Because the guy knew where I lived, and threatened me with harm. #WhyIDidntReport
— Jessica Lynn (@JessTheWriter33) September 21, 2018
Look what happens to women who do. Anyone apprised of the president’s history of silencing and intimidating women would understand what women are up against. #WhyIDidntReport
— Matt JK (@dcdaddysWT) September 21, 2018
Reading the #WhyIDidntReport and as a father of four kids I can’t imagine the toll sexual violence would take on them. Take some time to read these today.
— Robbie Mackenzie (@six_mack) September 21, 2018
He was my cousin... And "curious" #WhyIDidntReport
— Linda Hall-Webster (@mrslrhw) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport
— DPH (@PoeticJustice23) September 21, 2018
I did the police said there wasn't enough evidence stupid me couldn't remember the details of something that happened when I was under 5. Also my brain has tried to forget part of my illness so details are sketchy these things happen
#WhyIDidntReport
— Deborah Griffin BSW (@debgrif12) September 21, 2018
would not have believed me
#WhyIDidntReport I was young, I had consented in the past but woke up to him on top of me. I was stunned someone I trusted could do that to me. I didn't report because he was my boyfriend and didn't think there was anything I could do about it, thought it was my fault.
— Kim the Resister (@MamaMayham) September 21, 2018
I was drunk. I worked in a bar. I was wearing a short skirt. #WhyIDidntReport
— Rhiannon (@rhirhilalala) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport
— your local delaney (@shcherbatskayas) September 21, 2018
I did.
Nothing happened.
I might as well have not reported at all.
Because I was afraid it would destroy my family. #WhyIDidntReport
— Therese Brosseau (@ThereseBrosseau) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport I was five years old.#WhyIDidntReport I was ten years old.#WhyIDidntReport I was thirteen years old.#WhyIDidntReport As an adult, I tried not to think of the abuse I suffered as a child. When I finally did reflect on it, the statute of limitations had passed.
— Dawn Eden Goldstein (@DawnofMercy) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport Because when I told my boss, she said, "Well, that's just how he is.", so I found a different job and quit that one instead. My fault for being alone with him and being friendly, right?
— G (@gocleanyourroom) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport I was high and he was my boyfriend
— rach♡ (@rachelperfff) September 21, 2018
Well, your ex-wife told, was threatened, and magically changed her story. Tell us again how you have no doubt that an assault would be reported right away. #ignorant #womenarewatching #WhyIDidntReport
— Kelly Francois (@KellyFrancois77) September 21, 2018
I'm 58 years old and was raped at 16. Have only told one person - my cousin the next morning. Lost track of how many times I was sexually assaulted, in one form or the other, since puberty. Being female is a dangerous business in this country. #IWasAfraid
— BB - 🎶 Stuck in the middle with you 🎶 (@IndePenny) September 21, 2018
You can't compare Ford's life now to what it would have been when she was 17. #whyididntreport
— Dernhelm, query-slayer🐎 (@Eowyn_the_Fair) September 21, 2018
So before you ask #WhyIDidntReport or #WhyWomenDontReport maybe you should ask why you’ve helped creat a society that makes us feel like we’ll be blamed, harassed, shamed.
— CJ Fangirls ||-// (@CJPendragon) September 21, 2018
I overdosed shortly after that final story because I was so messed up.
But who would you have believed?
Because he was inportant I couldn’t rip my family apart I had younger brothers and a sister to worry about #WhyIDidntReport
— 💙BluuKitty💝 (@BluIndica) September 21, 2018
Because I was drunk. #WhyIDidntReport
— Sarah🌹Lorene (@sarahndipity_00) September 21, 2018
Because I was 12 and had never been touched in that way. Because he was a family friend. Because I thought I did something wrong. All I did was go swimming in a bathing suit. #WhyIDidntReport
— 🇺🇸Claudia🇲🇽 (@oucrimsongirl) September 21, 2018
When I saw my dad, he looked at me with disgust & said, “They raped you didn’t they? I know they did. I told you if you ran away you’d get raped. Look how short those shorts are. You look like a whore. Did they rape you?”
— Shennanigator (@Shennanigator) September 21, 2018
All I could think of was how sick and #WhyIDidntReport
#WhyIDidntReport I was 5 years old and didn’t know what to do.
— square hammered (@paperslacker) September 21, 2018
I’m literally full blown crying at the #WhyIDidntReport tag, some of the saddest shit i ever read
— venus (@_NAKSinc) September 21, 2018
#whyididntreport
— stephanie (@mckellogs) September 21, 2018
I was trafficked for almost a decade by my own mother. How does a child report what is happening when the person in charge of her is part of the abuse?
#WhyIDidntReport
— mx. ridley (@monstrevoid) September 21, 2018
Because I was a kid, because I didn't realize what had happened each time until years later, because I was afraid people wouldn't believe me, because it could've been worse, because I'm still ashamed
I was scared no one would believe me because he was “popular” and “well liked.” I was scared he would keep me from ever being taken seriously in my career. I was scared the rumors and gossip about me would just get worse. #WhyIDidntReport
— haleycunningham (@haiillsttoorrm) September 22, 2018
I was physically and sexually assaulted when I was 17 yo. I never went to the police and I never told my parents. I never even told anyone until I was in my 40s. I was too afraid and humiliated to tell anyone #whyididntreport #metoo
— Anne Nielsen (@anniek1963) September 22, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport Because I was humiliated in front of a house full of people who then joined in to mock me.
— Katie Regan (@GamingShark) September 22, 2018
Because he was my friend
— Caroline (@carolinejonesay) September 22, 2018
Because he was a “good kid”
Because I couldn’t believe that someone I trusted would do this
Because “I didn’t want to ruin his life”
Because I blamed myself
Because I had no proof
Because when I tried, detectives bullied me about it#WhyIDidntReport
#WhyIDidntReport
— ash munira (@ashnira) September 22, 2018
I thought nobody'd believe me, since I was young and unmarried and didn't have a stable job, while he was totally in the other side of it all.
I thought he'd desist from it if I'd stay away, and it'd all be over like a nightmare.
I thought we were friends. I thought I could trust him. I thought I was safe with him. When he held both my hands down with one hand & tried to rape me I fought back. I got away. Our friends said it must have been a misunderstanding.
— Chrisi (@ChrisiDoo222) September 22, 2018
Assault is not an accident. #WhyIDidntReport
I told my supervisor, nothing happened, they said I was exaggerating, I kept seeing him around months after#WhyIDidntReport
— elyzalexx 🍍 (@ShayaRonnie) September 22, 2018
I have never reported my sexual abuser.
— Berto Burnham (@djberto690) September 22, 2018
Because I was 13.
Because she was mentor.
Because she was a friend.
Because I feared no one would believe me.
Because I thought suicide was easier (and still do) than telling 1 person#WhyIDidntReport
#WhyIDidntReport he was my boyfriend at the time and nobody was going to believe me.
— Kathleen Marie (@kath_leen35) September 22, 2018
I was 11. He was 20 - my guru, hero, self-appointed big brother. I worshipped him. First, he groomed me for months. Attacking countless times he clipped my wings, bound me in chains, then discarded my gutted soul. 40 yrs lost; still fighting despair #metoo #1in6 #WhyIDidntReport
— Paul Raworth Bennett (@PaulRBennett123) September 22, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport Becse my children can never know the vile, violent things their father did to me. It's been 40 yrs. they still don't understand why I can't be around him. I can still feel my head being pushed into the pillow to muffle my screams. Said he'd kill me.I'm ashamed.
— MKD (@MKD0738) September 22, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport Because I thought most men do this, and men protect other men
— Lilly Valley (@Valleyforge21) September 22, 2018
The lack of compassion. #WhyIDidntReport
— I am Diane ღ♬♪♫ツ😎🌴 (@IamtheDiDi) September 22, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport I never reported anything because I was in 5th grade at a brand new school, I didn't know anyone, had no friends, no support system, and it was my PE teacher. 35 years later, I still have never told my family and that man is probably dead by now anyways.
— Leslie Holland (@TexasHolland) September 22, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport my rapist: because after I reported my sexual assault in high school, it ruined my life and I couldn't fathom going through it again. Shouts of slut, whore, bitch, liar from students as school officials looked the other way, literally.
— 🦄🌈THE Lexi Bae🌈🦄 (@MsLexiBae) September 22, 2018
I waited over 20 years to report my sexual abuser.
— Thomas Roberts (@ThomasARoberts) September 21, 2018
Because I was 14.
Because it was my hero.
Because it was my priest.
Because I thought I'd be expelled.
Because I feared no one would believe me.
Because I thought suicide was easier than telling 1 person#WhyIDidntReport
#WhyIDidntReport Because I knew no one would believe me.
— Ana Mardoll (@AnaMardoll) September 21, 2018
and I'm so angry that in 20-fucking-18 we're pretending that people can't anticipate that totally banal and common outcome: disbelief.
#WhyIDidntReport I did 30 years later, my family didn't believe me and called me a c*nt! This scotus confirmation has triggered horrible ptsd this week!@realDonaldTrump
— janell nelson (@janelsonarts) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport
— Stacy (@WarriorMcFad) September 21, 2018
My pedophile stepfather was a police officer.
I thought no one would believe me.
I felt shame. Blamed myself. Feared it would break up our family.
I was 8 to 12 years old.
Are you fucking kidding @GOP @realDonaldTrump
I was 15, he groped me, he wouldn't stop. In class.
— Jenny L (@JennyL7202) September 21, 2018
With other people around.
I begged him to stop. I felt humiliated and belittled.
I only opened up about it a few years ago.
I am in my 50's.
Believe her.#WhyIDidntReport
also can we please be aware that a lot of sexual assault and rape survivors cope by trying to regain control through hypersexualization? just because a woman doesn’t become frigid and cut off sexually after an assault doesn’t mean she hasn’t experienced trauma #WhyIDidntReport
— dark betty (@tinytiredgirl) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport Because my stepfather would have denied it and I would have been beaten
— Sylv (@izzilucca) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport I was young and didn’t understand what happened till many years later and blocked it from my mind. Now it’s time to come clean, I was raped when I was 16 but I’m learning to live and cope with it #metoo
— deadweight (@metalchick97) September 21, 2018
When the guy jerked off on me in the New York Public Library I reported it to security. They told me I was lucky. #WhyIDidntReport
— DeepState Woodchuck (@ValerieSolanas9) September 21, 2018
I was humiliated. I knew everyone would find out. I was afraid it would ruin my professional reputation before I had even started. I was afraid they would not believe me and let him hold my grade back. I was afraid they would not let me graduate from law school. #WhyIDidntReport
— Amee KavaNOPE Vanderpool (@girlsreallyrule) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport: I was raped while on medication by a woman I trusted. I felt so guilty (as her husband was a friend) I didn’t say anything while the abuse continued until I moved out of their home.”You can’t Rape the willing” still rings in my ears when I told a “bro” after... pic.twitter.com/0f1ZWkjeGn
— 🐙The Ham Sandwich of Cthulhu🐙 (@Cthulhu_Resists) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport
— Mosab Hmmad (@HmmadMosab) September 21, 2018
Out of fear, which is one strong emotion. hopefully, that will be changing now!
I'm not going to post my #WhyIDidntReport story because everyone currently supporting Kavanaugh knows perfectly well why women don't report and they know Dr. Christine Blasey Ford isn't lying, they just don't care. They know we all have a story. They do not care.
— Hanna Nina Jameson (@Hanna_Jameson) September 21, 2018
Rape is a severely under-reported crime with surveys showing up to 91.6% of rapes going unreported. #whyididntreport
— thatopinion (@thatopinion1) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport When I told a loved one about being sexually assaulted at a frat house she said that’s what I “got” for being a “party girl.”
— Marissa Rubino 🌻 (@MarissaRubino) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport because who would believe an 11 year old, right?
— cam (@arisweetner) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport I was 16 and he was 35. He was a family member. I DID report. I was not believed and called a liar, then sent to a psychiatrist for "constantly lying". #itwontmatter
— suze hartline (@hartline_suze) September 21, 2018
I was 7 when it happened, the man responsible was practically family. I’m from the south, where men played sports, drove trucks, hunt/fish and drank beer. We did not talk about feelings. I wouldn’t have known what to say anyways. Took me 33 years to tell anyone.#WhyIDidntReport
— RogueGeek76 (@Big_O_Dad) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport because our justice system fails victims. Abusers of domestic violence and sexual assault are given slaps on the wrist and restraining orders are little more than pieces of paper.
— Kristi C (@5memb) September 21, 2018
I honestly can't comprehend being in a situation like #WhyIDidntReport
— TheCreamInYoCoffee🤙🏻 (@AllanWeir90) September 21, 2018
The men and women who went through such traumatic experiences and felt they couldn't ask for help or get the attacker their comeuppance because of how they thought they would be perceived. World is fucked 😔
At first I was too young to know what was going on. Then he convinced me it was our little secret. By the time I was old enough to understand, I knew it would destroy our family, and I would be blamed for "spreading our dirty laundry." #WhyIDidntReport
— Courtney Sager 📢 (@kt462) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport I was 9 and I feared my father would kill my attacker in revenge. I feared losing my father, my mother had attempted suicide while caring for my brother who had cancer, I was afraid to trigger mom and lose her too. I have kept my secret 43 years telling just 1
— Judy Gieck (@GieckJudy) September 21, 2018
I was in third grade.
— BadWolf🐺 #BelieveTheWomen Rose🥀 (@vodkandkittens) September 21, 2018
He was an adult.
I told a teacher.
A detective informed my abuser of the allegations and he fled the state.
Case closed. System failure. #WhyIDidntReport #IDidReport #ChildSexAbuse #BelieveSurvivors #meToo #BelieveWomen
I was at a party, under age & drunk, I puked , he helped me up, took off my clothes & raped me. I never knew his name, couldn’t remember his face & carried the blame because others knew what happened, heard what happened, still no one said a thing. #WhyIDidntReport
— Mayra Elyy Fierro (@MyElyyMetal) September 21, 2018
Because it was my father and by the time my three sisters came out with reporting him, no one believed them. Nothing happened!#WhyIDidntReport
— Larry (@JSMLarry) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport I was humiliated. I confided in a friend who told me it was my fault for leaving my drink on the table for 3 minutes
— a (@goawaymom) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport he was my college boyfriend.
— judy sebern (@jsebern) September 21, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport he was my friend, we had a history, I didn’t want to make a scene. Instead I lost friends, took the heat, lived with the guilt. Took years before I was even able to say out loud that what happened to me was unwanted, unwelcome. I never gave consent. I said NO.
— Ashley Siegel (@AshleySiegs) September 21, 2018
Oh these stories. Breaking my heart. Your truth is being heard here, today, by millions. We believe you. #WhyIDidntReport
— Mal Gal (@MalGal041995) September 21, 2018
To all survivors, whether or not you report or speak about your sexual assault:
— NO MORE (@NOMOREorg) September 21, 2018
We see you. We hear you. We believe you. Your experience & your reaction to it are valid.
Disclosing is YOUR choice, & we will never stop fighting for you. #WhyIDidntReport 💙
#WhyIDidntReport He was a friend of my brothers. I had five of them and they and my dad would have killed him. I couldn’t be the cause of my family being torn apart. I was 13.
— SylviaYvonne (@sydj1405) September 21, 2018
Having the President of the United States of America attempt to discredit a sexual assault survivor by saying she should've come forward sooner is exactly why sexual assault survivors don't come forward sooner.#WhyIDidntReport pic.twitter.com/fkcIGM0qtY
— Charles Ryder (@CapnRyder) September 21, 2018
— Kandis Marie (@KandisMarie_) September 21, 2018
Because he was my boss & I knew no one would believe I didn't instigate it.
— ArtTeacherYeek4 (@ArtTeacherYeek4) September 22, 2018
Because he was a family member & it would "ruin our lives."
Because my best friend reported hers & was treated like a slut by the cops.
Because of p.o.s. men like u.#WhyIDidntReport
#WhyIDidntReport
— Dawn Huffstetler (@DawnEdh) September 22, 2018
Because I was afraid.
Because he was my boss.
Because I was afraid I wouldn’t be believed.
Because “the good old boys club” would crucify me just as they are Dr. Ford.
Forty years later I’m still afraid to report.
Because I will never be able to accept that it happened. Because I was afraid. Because I couldn’t believe someone who said they would always love me could hurt me so bad. And because I couldn’t let the people I love look at me and see a broken shell. #WhyIDidntReport
— Haliey Lorig (@haliey1994) September 22, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport because I knew I would be told to "stop overreacting."
— Lisa Folkmire (@LisaOpemire) September 22, 2018
17: Drunk. 3 military guys. I did report. Went through exams and interviews. Stopped when my mom didn't believe it because I never screamed. If she didn't, who would? #WhyIDidntReport
— CosmicFire (@Cosmic_Fire) September 22, 2018
Because someone should have protected me !!! #WhyIDidntReport
— Micah wharton (@Micahwharton7) September 22, 2018
My ability to love openly was stolen from me. Forcibly. Why? Never mind. It doesn’t matter. No one will believe me. I shouldnt have worn that dress. Shouldn’t have been so friendly. Shouldn’t have gotten in the car. That’s what they tell me. #WhyIDidntReport
— nobody (@shesantisocialk) September 22, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport I was only 5 years old and I had no idea what had happened to me. All I know is that I was bleeding and hurt and that he had a part of his body that I didn't. All I knew was i was in pain like I never had known before
— Silkysexyhair (@silkysexyhair) September 22, 2018
Bc he was my boyfriend. Bc we had been drinking at a party the night before. Bc I was so confused &had extremely low self esteem & undiagnosed depression at the time. Bc he convinced me long before that talking about our relationship to anyone else was a betrayal #WhyIDidntReport
— Sabrina Olivia (@SibKid1709) September 22, 2018
I was drunk, I thought it was my fault
— Mrs. Bell (@RacheedaBell52) September 22, 2018
He was a football player at a major sec university
Because it was easier to self medicate
It destroyed the past 12 years of my life
I'm still paying for it, My daughter will pay for it#whyIdidntReport#whatitcostme
#WhyIDidntReport My stepfather was in the military at the time and my mother said it would cause problems for him.
— shonica brown (@sweetshonica) September 22, 2018
I was only 5years. He was a family friend. Was scared to speak up because I thought It was my fault😭😭. I still get vivid flashbacks of the incidents. I need help. #WhyIDidntReport
— Camouflage ndiliJoni (@Oboo_Tee) September 22, 2018
#WhyIDidntReport because after he finished he got up & said, “that’s what you get for giving me blue balls.” & when I told my friends they said, “well wasn’t last night your second date with him?” I didn’t even realize what happened was actually assault till months later.
— Tor (@TorLydon) September 22, 2018
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